The first room was perfectly Green. It makes my skin look almost dead. It blends and twists just like I do. It makes the senses feel a feeling of safe and security. Makes me think of lush vallies where I would take my life upon the green blanket of grass. I would sit atop a hill and feel like the owner of the world or maybe a animal trapped in its cluthes. My eyes look grey in this light. Sometimes I pretend to be dead and sit there for hours in my green light and never move. I would even hold my breath to see if I fade. I another contrast to the aura of this color. I still on my hill, on the grass slowly slip into my couma. My sweet were are you...........
The Yellow room was quite. Not a sound. To mellow for comfort. Almost sitting there waiting for someone to mock it. I would sit and look around not wanting to break the silence. I would sit and ponder the thoughts in which intorture myself. Inflicting pain to myself in my mind. I would close my eyes...open them and look at my hands. So course...so tangable so destructive. In my yellow room my eyes turn red. They fill with apathetic thoughts of what should be done now. They question my judgemnet and faith I have had if any was ever there. Yellow beautifull yellow save me.............
My neon black room. I sit gritting my teeth. I feel so un easy here. I hang from a noose of death. Schemeing a plan or a ritual to show my demise in which I can find comfort. I hang and the moths come in threw the window. The eat at my face, slowly eating away my face they do. I hang and the show my black inside. I hear whispers saying "get on get on with us, get back get back where you belong" there cries of ambivalence make my head hurt. Hanging is my slumber, and my heart knows no limit or extent to pain. Every time I am pricked I know I am still living. I make my frown screaming out a million words. "I am sissy" I say."Never gonna take, not ,no,fake,I am not a ZERO,not naw ..........FUCK YOU".....then silence..............Then a noise was heard. My body was almost completely mutalated by the moths. There the size of my face now.......... they sit and eat my flesh but yet after the enduring time I find pleasure in it now. Blood comes out of my eyes AND I ,THOUGH THE EYES OF GOD HE SAID TO ME..............................................
Let there only be pain,Watch as I spike your vein,there is no judgment, only no self conduct, Now I am your dissorder, feel now Boy as I fuck you over, in my eyes you are S H I T!!!!!!!!! GOD SAVE ME>..................
Now in my blue room, My lungs to heavy to brethe. I am sinking in a infinatly vast space of water. I am me, but yet I watch my self sink and sink and sink. All around are bubbles. In each bubble is a special and wonderfull thing. A sound, after all my silence it was peacefull to hear them. I fall down and down. My eyes burned out and all is left are hollow black gapping holes. In each of the holes are miny TV's. ON the left side it says "LOVE" and in the other it says "NO ONE". The bubbles begin to bust as I am still falling down with the same speed as when this began. In the far but distant backround a chant is arising from the deep blue abyss."My life has been empty, my life has been just a dream" I ge drowsy now even more so. I can't help but close my eyes and sing a lymric to myself.
"Good night, to every little hour that you, sleep tight, may it hold you threw the winter of a, long wait, and keep you from the valley happiness, from yourself, heart strain cause you're all afraid of slumber, and your Good life?, when no one understands you ,all thats, unsung, Good night my love, to every hour, in ever day, good night always, to all thats pure, thats in your heart, good night may your dreams be so happy, and your head life we appreciate your dreams and goodnight becarefull not to let the bed bugs, the sun shines, but I hide, the silver rain can wash away, the sun shines, but I don't the silver rain will wash away everything, and you can tell, its just as well, and you can tell , its just as well, Good night my love, to every hour, in every day, good night always, to all thats pure, thats in your heart.............
My rooms, my life, my passion, my hurt, my slumber
And are you just like me??...............................
